Cousins Joanne, Andy and me the big sister.
My hair looks like bird nest, but grandma is cute here.
This is how she makes me sleep.=p
Few months ago, we heard from auntie that she is getting weaker each day. On New year eve, We visited grandmother at my parent's house. She was rather overweight and was rather weak in the legs and arms so she needs a wheelchair to move about. Baby and i drove her back to auntie's place after the gathering. Grandma almost fall when I try to carry her into the car, baby has to help me immediately after he lifts the folding wheelchair into the car boot. When we reached the lobby, baby has to lift and carry grandma up the staircases to the 4th level as there isn't any lift within the block! Haiz...."Joey feels useless, she was nowhere near strong enough to carry grandma." I know it's quite an effort for him to carry grandma. At that very moment, I start think how lost I would be without baby. I need him to complete me. *Thank you my love*
I thought that everything would be fine because at first I just thought she was sick. Apparently, I was wrong. The next day she was having trouble moving and we send her to the hospital. After the doctors ran some tests they diagnosed her with cancer and the cancer cells had spread to her brain. When I heard the news, I knew that it was bad because you really don’t hear about people with cancer surviving. As a human being, I had strong emotional issues to deal with. I wish she could have lived longer because we were really close to her. We bought her food she likes and fed her. She couldn’t chew or swallow solid food so smashing the food is just fine. I tried my best to feed her with medicine using a straw and she took it bravely. "You used to fed me when I was a girl, now it the other way round, let me feed you" I said this to her. She would smiled back at me and nodded her head. :> She was weak but was still aware of what’s going on around her. We try to keep her awake by chatting with her because she had too much sleep during the day. I could hardly sleep that night when I heard she is shifting to the Buddhist Welfare Services Convalescent & Nursing Home as she has difficulty walking and we are unable to take care of her own daily living. Grandma need an intensive care. I heard people who stay there don't survive long, but I just believed the Lord is going to heal her. Up till her last moments, I can still feel her love for us. She would still try to give each of us a warm hug when we visit. I didn't want to hug grandma because I knew the inevitable was near. I didn't want the tears to come, just like my sister. I can sense grandma wants to give us her last hug. I never thought she was close to death. Tears still welds up when I recalled these moments.
I am going to wear it on my wedding day! This is the last gift from her. I was suprised that she had something for me even before she left. I brought this ring to the shop where I bought my diamonds and requested the stuff to clean it for me. It doesn't really shines but still look beautiful and clean. I am not sure and did not check if it is diamonds, real stone or natural crystal. All I know that it's priceless! Somthing so precious to me. It's a bond that can never be replaced.
In the hospital
She had a very peaceful death and is no longer in pain. "I thank God for taking away her horror and fear, letting her know your with her and feels your presence strongly." God is doing a mighty work thru this trial. Little by little I adjusted to the changes that were occurring in my life. I wish I could brought her back to my new home and spend her last moments with me, sharing the joy on my wedding day on 2010. Well, it doesn't really matters anymore because I knew she has gone to a better place, a place without sicknesses and pain. She is waiting for me in heaven and watching over me. =)We all make a promise to have a family gathering on the 04 May, a very important date for us to remember.
Ah Mah, I Love You
